A Goat and Skell Romance
by Sky's Penname
Summary: Toriel goes on her first date with Sans.


Mists of breath blew out of Toriel's mouth as she stood in the frigid snow. The cold creeped into her skin, despite the fur guarding it. Before her was Sans' home and the door to it. She'd hesitated for quite some time, staring at the handle anxiously. She did not usually feel so nervous, but it had been a long while since she's been out.

Especially on a date.

She let out a heavy sigh, frigid crystals forming in front of her muzzle. She used to be a queen! What was she to be nervous about? Also, it was much too cold out. She had to do this, for her own health, she told herself. Her body feeling tense, she forced one of her best monarch smiles out, and lightly tapped her knuckles against the wood.

Almost instantly, much too quickly, the door swung open, startling the once-queen. Her smile vanished for a brief moment as she tried to compose herself. A tall skeleton stood before her, his eyes excited and joy filled. "OH! A VISITOR!" He eyed her once more almost skeptically. "AND IT'S ASGORE'S CLONE NO LESS!"

Toriel frowned at the name, her charade of pleasantness thrown off balance yet again. It at least distracted her from her nervousness. "No, no, I'm Toriel," she smiled. "You're Papyrus. I'm certain we've met."

Another skeptical look. "I SUPPOSE IT'S POSSIBLE." The skeleton looked outside as if he was remembering something. "OH, BUT YES, WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU?"

Toriel had been going over this in her head over and over. She wasn't going to mess this up. "I'm here for Sans?" she accidently questioned, cursing at herself inwardly.

Papyrus beamed at the mention of his brother. "LET ME GO FETCH HIM!" He dashed off inside to the living room. Toriel took this moment to take a small peak and noticed the TV was on. What was he watching? Some kind of dancing box? "SANS!" Papyrus screamed, causing Toriel to nearly jump out of her fur. "SANS! SANS! A GOAT LADY IS HERE FOR YOU! SANS ARE YOU HERE?" His usual happy face suddenly turned sour as he screeched the name over and over.

"Maybe I should just g-" Toriel started, her heart nearly beating out of her chest.

Papyrus dashed back, his smile back as bright as ever. "SANS ISN'T HERE, IT LOOKS LIKE."

Toriel let out a sigh, unable to hide her disappointment. "Oh, it's just that we were supposed to go on a date."

"DATE, YOU SAY?" Papyrus looked intrigued. "FEAR NOT, FOR I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, AM EXTREMELY STUDIED ON DATES! I WILL TAKE YOU ON ONE IN HIS PLACE!"

Toriel held up her hands and shook her head. "No, no! That will not be necessary!"

"NONSENSE! I WON'T ALLOW IT!" Papyrus said, a bit too loudly as always. "WHERE WAS HE GOING TO TAKE YOU?"

Toriel shouldn't have told him. She knew this was going to cause trouble, but the words spilled out of her anyway. "We were going to go to Grillby's, nothing special," she nearly mumbled, trying to calm Papyrus down.

"OF COURSE HE WAS." Papyrus frowned. "WELL, I WILL GO IN HIS PLACE AND IT WILL BE MAGICAL! YOU WILL LOVE SANS AFTER THIS!" He dashed off into his home again, preparing who knows what.

Toriel felt her face heat up at the word love, even in the biting cold outside. This was spiraling out of her control. She thought maybe she should just run back to the Ruins, close the doors, and never leave her home again. She almost acted upon it as well, but the skeleton returned again, much too quickly. She couldn't escape.

"I'M READY FOR OUR DATE, YOUR HONOR!" he said, bowing towards her. In his hand he held a large bone wrapped in a nice blue bow. "FOR YOU." She took it in her hand, unsure what to do with it. Should she unwrap this? Keep it wrapped?

"Oh, thank you so much," she smiled, too fake this time. The skeleton didn't notice. "I will always treasure it?" Toriel cursed herself once more as the phantom question struck again. She didn't bring a purse or a bag of any kind, so she just held onto the bone awkwardly at her side.

It didn't seem possible, but Papyrus became even more excited by this. "GREAT! I'M SO GLAD! YOU REALLY WILL LOVE SANS AFTER THIS! COME, YOUR HONOR, TO GRILLBY'S!" The skeleton put his arm through Toriel's quickly, before she could even react. In the next moment, they were off, snow crunching beneath their feet.

* * *

Toriel sat across the table from Papyrus in a dimly lit booth. A very low chatter could be heard throughout the restaurant, glasses and plates clattering along almost rhythmically as the building bustled tonight. It wasn't exactly the most romantic place, but Toriel wasn't exactly with the right date anyway. The bowed bone gift sat directly against her hip in the chair, a testament to her awkward failure.

Papyrus' eye sockets scoured through the menu in his hands, trying desperately to find something without a gallon of grease poured on top of it. Toriel had decided before the date even began that she would be getting the burger. Her logic was that she could show Sans she wasn't a queen anymore and could be treated like any other monster down here. She stuck to her decision, determined. The silence between them, however, was excruciating.

 _I won't let this night be ruined! I can have a pleasant time with Papyrus!_

Toriel tapped her knuckles against the table lightly. "Knock, knock," she smiled.

Papyrus threw the menu down in a jolt, his eyes nearly bulging out. "WHAT! WHO IS THERE?" he looked around, completely alert.

Toriel refused to give up! She must have just startled him is all. It's understandable, right? "Boo."

The skeleton shifted his eyes to the side, still unsure who was trying to address him. "BOO WHO? IS THAT YOU NABSTABL-"

"Don't cry, it's just a knock knock joke!" Toriel stuck the landing and giggled slightly to herself for doing so well.

Papyrus' eyes darted to the goat woman. His face processed the information, slowly washing over him. "OH MY GOD." He scowled and Toriel was almost certain the skeleton was going to scream in a rage. As if remembering who he was speaking to, he shook his skull and smiled sheepishly. "I-I MEAN! NYEH? HEH HEH? T-THAT WAS A GOOD ONE!" What appeared to be sweat began to form around his forehead. His body shook.

Toriel sighed again, knowing her joke fell flat. It wasn't very good sure, but she just wanted to make the situation a bit lighter. Living alone suddenly seemed very appealing again.

The skeleton seemed to finally realize his mistake. This date was failing! "I'M SORRY, YOUR HONOR! I'VE BEEN RUDE! LET ME CONSULT THE RULES!" His arm almost flailed into his pocket, squirming desperately for his book. With a smile, he pulled it out and began flipping through the pages at a rapid pace, eyes darting, sweat dripping. The book was titled 1,001 BIG DATE TIPZ.

"No, no, it's alright, Papyrus." Toriel regretted exciting him again. "And please, call me Toriel." She paused. "And I was a queen, not a judge."

A finger pointed in the air and a loud "AHA!" reverberated from behind the book. Papyrus hadn't heard a thing she said. "IT SAYS HERE IF I INSULT YOU, I MERELY SHOULD COMPLIMENT YOU TO REGAIN CONTROL OF THE DATE FIELD." He dropped the book down and began scanning Toriel with all his might.

The goat woman was suddenly completely aware of herself and felt incredibly abashed. He seemed to be looking right into her very soul.

"WOWIE! WHAT BEAUTIFUL…" He looked up at her scalp. "HORNS!" he yelled with a snap of his bony fingers. Papyrus straightened his spine in pride. "YOUR HORNS ARE A WORK OF ART! COMPARABLE ONLY TO THE MOST PRETTY OF BONES!"

Toriel smiled and absent-mindedly rubbed one of the horns in question, feeling them almost itch at being mentioned. It genuinely did make her feel nice though. Not many compliment her on her looks, especially of her horns. "Thank you, Papyrus. And you have a very handsome…" she stalled, trying her best to come up with a compliment of her own. Papyrus' eyes sparkled in the dim-light, eagerly awaiting his praise. "Skull?"

Bright red began to paint itself on the skeleton's white bony cheeks. He huffed and stammered. "W-WOWWIE! THAT'S SO NICE OF YOU, TOO!"

An uncomfortable silence began again. Toriel looked down at her furry paws. Papyrus's teeth chattered as he began to uncomfortably sweat again. The ex-monarch did use to deal with all kinds of eccentric monsters, but it had been so long, and Papyrus was, well…

The skeleton was nervously dabbing spaghetti sauce on his skull.

"I CAN'T TAKE THE PRESSURE!" he finally shouted. The restaurant became silent, all eyes on him. "I'M NOT AS EXPERIENCED A DATER AS I SAID I WAS! I'M SORRY!" Papyrus pulled out his phone and stood up. "I'LL CALL THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW WHO CAN FIX THIS! I WILL GIVE YOU YOUR DATE, YOUR HONOR!" Papyrus dashed out the door, holding his head in dramatic shame.

Toriel sat in the booth by herself now, the patrons moving their gaze to her. She looked back down at her furry fingers and twiddled them as hard as she could, trying to convince herself she was not here anymore.

At least Papyrus went to go get Sans.

* * *

Fists slammed the piece of meat over and over. The table rocked and the silverware clattered, attempting to withstand the assault. "Die! Die!" Undyne roared at her steak until it became a pile of gray mush. With a contented sigh, she sat back against the cushioned chair and wiped her knuckles. "It should be nice and tender now."

Toriel cringed at her once-burger before her. Undyne thought it be polite to tenderize the food for the both of them. Bits of meat, bun, and ketchup were splattered across both of the women's faces and clothes. Toriel used a napkin to wipe herself off, but Undyne felt content leaving the scars of battle on her person with a toothy grin.

"So you're Sans' girlfriend, right?" The fish asked bluntly. She grabbed some food mush from her own plate and stuffed it into her mouth. "Ain't you the queen though?" she said with a mouthful of food, bits and pieces raining over the table.

Toriel, once again, felt herself having trouble keeping up the charade. "Well, no. Not anymore. Not for a while." She looked down, guilt washing over her with Undyne's dinner. This was a rather serious question after all.

Undyne stopped chomping on her mush for a moment to glare at the goat with her single eye, unsatisfied with the answer. That eye pierced Toriel's very being, sending shivers down her spine. "But are you Sans' girlfriend or what? You didn't say anything there."

The goat woman remembered she was meant to be on this date with Sans right now. He never did show up. She sighed, a bit sadly. Something about Undyne broke through her façade and forced Toriel to show her true feelings. "I don't know."

A growl reverberated through Undyne's fangs. "Not good enough. You have to pick one and go with it one-hundred percent!" She slammed a fist into the table, silverware clanking again. "You like him, don't you?"

"Yes," Toriel admitted, dejectedly.

"And he likes you?"

"I'm not sure."

Undyne glared again. "NGAAAAH!" she roared gripping a fork and pointing it across the table. "Yes you are!"

Toriel was one again forced to be honest with herself, holding up her hands in an almost defense. "Yes! Yes, he does, I'm sure he does!" she yelled a bit too loudly.

The fish sat back against her chair again, her mood going from uncontrollable rage to pretty controllable grump. "Then you're his girlfriend! Was that so hard?" Undyne huffed and blew some red strains of hair out of her eye. "I don't get why everyone has so much trouble with these kinds of things."

Toriel didn't feel sad anymore. In fact, her spirit felt a bit lighter now that it was out in the open. Her thoughts were more clear. She didn't feel the need to fake a smile anymore. "You're right, Undyne. Thank you." However, she did really want to take the subject off of herself. "What about you and Dr. Alphys? You two are an item too, aren't you?"

"WHAT?" Undyne began sweating bullets. Steam seemed to be coming out of her fish… ears? The warrior started laughing uncontrollably and nervously. Once again, all eyes in the establishment were on Toriel. "You what? D-doc-wh-yeah?" Undyne fell out of her chair, as if she was struck by a mighty blow from a terrible foe. She squirmed on the floor, defeated.

Trembling arms gripped a phone from her pocket. She scrambled towards the door in the most undignified way. "That's it! I'm gonna call the guy who should have been here in the first place! Where I couldn't defeat you, he will!"

Once again, Toriel was left alone in the booth, feeling everyone's attention on her. Well, if Papyrus couldn't get Sans, surely Undyne would be able to.

* * *

A fork nervously and absentmindedly stirred the mush that used to be dinner. "So Tori, how are things?" Asgore stuttered, his enormous body barely fitting inside the booth.

Toriel had had enough. She was openly glaring at the king of the underground, arms crossed in distaste. "No," was all she said. "Get out."

"Oh..."

* * *

Snow fluttered lazily down to the ground around Toriel. A warm inviting light from the establishment drained out into the dark outside. Toriel looked through the window one last time to make sure she didn't somehow miss Sans. Most of the patrons had left at this point, only a few monsters still hanging around the joint at this hour. No Sans. She sighed.

The town was mostly dark now except for Grillby's. She looked up into the black underground sky and saw the snowflakes twinkling like stars. Even in this temperature, it soothed her wounded pride. It was no night sky, but it was still calming nonetheless.

There was no use waiting anymore. Toriel had to accept it. She turned from the light and began her walk towards her home. The ex-monarch wasn't thrilled to go back to being by herself, but she supposed she was used to it by now…

"hey."

A light voice floated in the wind, almost as light as the snowflakes around her. Toriel almost thought it the wind for a moment. She turned again, and sure enough, her date had finally arrived. A sheepish grin across his face, like always. The skeleton stood in the window's yellow light, his hands in his pockets. Toriel noted there didn't seem to be any footprints in the snow leading up to where Sans was.

"Sans!" Toriel smiled, her heart a-flutter. Then she remembered that Sans had ditched her and retracted that warm feeling. At least on the outside. She couldn't help but still be happy to see him. "Did you forget about our date?" she asked bluntly.

For a moment, the skeleton's eyes looked left and then right as if contemplating his next words, ready to bring out a joke. His grin never left him, but he looked defeated still. "i didn't. i don't have an excuse, tori. sorry." He shrugged. "i was just tired to the _bone,_ i guess?"

Tori stifled a smile and reminded herself she was supposed to be angry. She knew Sans must have had a good reason not to show up, even if he wasn't willing to tell her yet. A small gasp left her lips as she had an idea. She gripped Papyrus' present in her hand. It had not left her side the entire evening.

"You bonehead," she giggled, and tapped Sans' skull with it, in a mock attack.

A small laugh. "lucky that didn't kill me. although i suppose I deserve it," Sans said, rubbing his skull. Still grinning, Toriel sensed an uncommonly serious tone from his voice. "i shouldn't have left you hangin, tori. i really hope my brother and his friends didn't _ruin_ your night." He paused for comedic effect. "heh, cuz you live in the ruins. good jokes."

"Oh, Sans, that was terrible!" Toriel giggled again, forgetting she was ever cold in the first place. "But no, they didn't. I actually can't remember a time I had such a good night," she sighed happily. "It was quite the experience. I feel like I learned a bit more about myself even. I just wish your brother and I could have found something in common."

Sans winked an eye socket. "you must not have brought up puzzles then. papyrus loves puzzles. he'd marry one if he could." He paused at that. "actually he could've that one time, though I might've been half-asleep if he did."

Toriel giggled at that, and so did Sans, though not before saying, "hey. i was being serious here."

It only made her laugh harder, challenging Sans to follow along. The few patrons that were still in Grillby's turned their heads toward the windows, wondering what the ruckus was outside. After a good few minutes, both monsters were out of breath, and let the silence fill the air, in a weird mix of both awkwardness and familiarity.

"so, uh," Sans kicked at the snow lightly. "can i make it up to ya by walking ya home?"

Toriel nodded to him in agreement. "I suppose that's a start." She held out her hand to him, her other still holding Papyrus' gift. She wasn't going to let him off the hook just yet.

Sans hesitated just slightly before taking her hand with an easy smile. Fingerbones shifted against fur, chillness meeting warmth.

Then she bent down and kissed him on the cheekbone. "Thank you for finally showing up, Sans," she told him. She tried not to laugh at the rigid grin he had, just barely different from his usual grin. But she could see the small difference.

"heh, not a problem, t, " he said softly, and led her through the snow, back to the familiar stone doors.

* * *

 **BONUS: Alternate Ending!**

"I just wish your brother and I could have found something in common," Toriel said wistfully.

Sans winked an eye socket. "you must not have brought up puzzles then."

The darkness stirred. The snowflakes drifted around them, rippling as if the world itself was shifting. "PUZZLES?" came a shout in the distance. Just like Sans had appeared from nowhere, Papyrus most certainly came from somewhere and ran towards them at breakneck speeds. Just like that, Papyrus had made himself a part of this conversation.

Toriel was not quite as shocked this time. Maybe Sans' presence gave her confidence. He didn't seem bothered one bit by the intrusion. "You like puzzles, Papyrus?" Toriel asked politely.

The tall skeleton nearly exploded. "OH MY GOD, YES! I LOVE PUZZLES! YOU ENJOY PUZZLES TOO, YOUR HONOR?"

"Goodness, yes!" Toriel nodded. "I personally prefer simple puzzles however, ones that children could learn with a bit of help."

"OH YES, THOSE ARE GREAT, TOO! I LOVE PUZZLES WHERE YOU HAVE TO PRESS BUTTONS IN THE RIGHT ORDER OR PUZZLES WHERE YOU HAVE TO WALK DOWN THE CORRECT PATH!"

"Me too!"

"WOWWIE!"

Sans smiled to himself. Content with being nearly ignored now. Maybe he wasn't the best date, but he could at least help Toriel make a new friend.

"WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT SLIDE PUZZLES?"

Silence. Neither spoke for a few seconds. Neither breathed.

"They're the worst!"

"THEY'RE THE WORST!"

The two giggled like school children. Papyrus looked over to his brother between girlish giggles. "SANS! YOUR GOAT GIRLFRIEND IS GREAT! YOU SHOULD BE INVITING HER OVER MUCH MORE OFTEN."

"yeah, i really should." Sans said nothing more, already falling asleep (while standing) to the excited voices of both his girlfriend and brother.


End file.
